Staying Alive Is My Greatest Asset
If poverty, illness, and ridicule didn’t break you—then everything you’ve endured becomes your most valuable life experience.
This isn’t a motivational slogan. It’s a truth written in my bones.
Chasing Dreams in a Foreign Land
In my early twenties, I left China during the “study abroad boom” and found myself in London. Back then, information didn’t flow as freely as it does today. There were no well-structured plans for overseas education, and I didn’t come from a wealthy family. I was like a leaf caught in the wind—blown across the sea into a completely unfamiliar world.
There were times I had no idea where my next breakfast would come from. But I never forgot: I had willingly left behind a comfortable life in Guangzhou to chase a dream. I wasn’t running from hardship; I had a decent life back home, one that many envied. But I had a deep urge—to see the world beyond my comfort zone.
My goal was simple: earn a degree in the UK. But to others, it seemed laughable. Most of the people around me at the time were from Hong Kong or mainland China. In the early 1990s, prejudice against mainlanders was common in Hong Kong circles. They’d scoff, “How can a broke girl from China possibly get a British degree?” Even my mainland friends asked, “Why not just marry someone and secure a visa while you’re young?”
Yes, I wanted love like anyone else. But as a low-income immigrant, even basic dignity felt hard to maintain.
Still, I knew where to find warmth, light, and hope: the public library. It had free heating, good lighting, and a world of knowledge. I believed—deeply—that education could change my life.
The Trials of Motherhood
Life doesn’t go easy on you just because you’ve already been through hardship. I eventually settled in the U.S., started a family, and life felt more stable. But motherhood brought its own set of challenges—some of the hardest I’d ever faced.
My health began to decline drastically. My nervous and digestive systems were failing me, and I was barely hanging on. Sleepless nights became the norm. My mind felt like it was fraying at the edges. But I couldn’t collapse—not with my children relying on me.
I remember lying in bed some nights, feeling life slip away from me, inch by inch. That helplessness and fear—it still gives me chills. I was terrified of leaving my loved ones behind, of them spiraling in grief, of my children losing their mother. The thought that they might carry that scar forever haunted me.
But in that darkest hour, one simple truth hit me with full force:
Staying Alive Is My Greatest Asset
The phrase may sound grim—even a little hopeless—but for me, it became a mantra.
When you’ve stood on the edge between life and death, you come to understand: as long as you’re breathing, you still have a chance.
Poverty may take away your pride. Illness may break your body. Suffering may wear down your spirit. But if you're still alive—then nothing is final.
What didn’t kill me did make me stronger—not because I’m inherently tough, but because I’ve seen the worst and survived. After that, nothing else seems truly insurmountable.
During those times, I reduced everything to one question:
Am I still alive?
If the answer was yes, then I moved forward. No grand plans. No perfect vision. Just get through today. Then the next. And the next.
What Suffering Taught Me
Looking back, that brutal chapter of my life turned out to be one of my greatest teachers. I’m not glorifying pain, but I can’t deny what it revealed in me—my resilience, strength, and ability to adapt.
I learned how to hope in despair and find light in darkness. I began to understand what truly matters, and what’s okay to let go. I came to cherish every small joy in life, because now I knew how hard-won they were.
Most importantly, I began to accept my imperfect self. I used to be terrified of failure, obsessed with perfection, and desperate not to be looked down upon. But when life has brought you to your knees, you stop fearing what others think. When you’ve hit rock bottom, every step becomes an ascent.
To Anyone Struggling Right Now
If you’re going through a difficult season—if everything feels heavy, unclear, or hopeless—let me say this:
You are far stronger than you think.
Don’t be afraid to admit you’re hurting—bravery isn’t about hiding your pain.
Don’t be ashamed to ask for help—there is grace in reaching out.
And don’t give up on tomorrow—because quitting isn’t truly an option.
Suffering is not the whole story. It’s just a chapter.
Maybe a long and painful one, but still just a chapter. And it will end.
As long as you’re breathing, you still hold power. As long as your heart beats, miracles are possible. The things that feel unbearable today may someday become the most powerful parts of your story.
A Final Word
I’m no longer that young girl in London worrying about her next meal.
I no longer need to prove anything with that hard-won diploma.
My kids are growing up healthy. My body is slowly healing.
But I will never forget those days in the dark—because they made me who I am.
Life won’t always be kind just because you’re kind.
But it will respect your strength.
If poverty, hunger, or hardship couldn’t break you—then you already own one of life’s rarest treasures:
a heart that’s unbroken, even after everything.
